Sokka's club
by Sakuya Schiffer
Summary: When me and Mistress of Yaoi are txting shit goes down


**Sakuya: so…I was texting Mistress of Yaoi one day when suddenly the though popped into my head….what if Hidan was a stripper?**

**Mistress of Yaoi: I GAVE YOU THAT IDEA!**

**Sakuya: so we just randomly started pointing out random things and then TA-FUCKING-DAH! This crack was born!**

**ENJOY BITCHEZ!**

**A/N: nope its fucking late I'm tired I don't own Naruto or Bleach and I'm listening to the Nightcore version of Hes a monster while writing this crap! :3 I love chu all**

"Oi, Bishie-Chan! Get yer ass out on that stage! Someone requested fer ya specifically!"

A squeal fell from Sokka Uchiha's lips as a very sharp object came flying towards her, causing her to quickly duck down as it impaled the wall behind her.

"Calm your fucking tits brat! I told you to call me Hidan-Sama!" The silver haired male strutted past her, smirking as he winked her way. "Tch…stupid old geezer, I'm yer boss-" Another squeal filled the air as the baby blue haired Uchiha found her body squished between the hard, cool wall behind her and the hard, warm body of the male in front of her.

"Brat, I am an _immortal_, not _old_!"

Sokka squirmed from under the violent stare of the Jashinist, slightly whining at the evil smirk that slowly leaked onto his features.

"Y…yer who knows how much older th…than Sokka…s…so y-yer old-OHMYJASHIN WHAT'ER YA DOING?!"

Sokka's sapphires grew as Hidan's lips barely skimmed across her's, a low growl slipping from his throat before turning into a pained hiss. Smirking, the bluette stepped over a hunched over Hidan, his expression pained while he cupped his clothed crotch. "The next time ya even think of touching Sokka, you will pray fer Jashin-Sama's mercy! Now get yer Bishie ass out on stage before Sokka decides to get Shir-Shir-Nee!"

Hidan growled towards the suddenly childish acting teen in frustration before stalking towards the black curtain grumbling. "I ain't old brat, I choose for my hair to be this color!"

With a giggle, Sokka simply rolled her eyes before disappearing in search of her older adopted sister while Hidan's signature song spilled from the speakers.

"Sokka-Chan~!" The bluette giggled as a certain ravenette with kinky pink highlights came running at her in what seemed like slow motion. "Shir-Shir-Nee~!" The bluette cried as she ran towards the dark skinned female, Sokka's arms spread open for a hug. One of them must have been on crack, because suddenly sparkles started to dance around them as they pranced towards each other.

An aggravated cry left the busty ravenette as Sokka suddenly jumped over her head at the last second, causing Shiro to topple to the ground. Suddenly jumping up, Shiro patted the invisible dust from her clothes before punching the back of the busty bluette's head, causing the pale girl to appear in the "emo corner".

"Shir-Shir-Nee is a bully!"

Shiro suddenly grabbed Sokka's head & pressed it into her breasts, hugging her frantically while cutting her air circulation off. "No! Sokka-Imouto! Don't be upset with your Shir-Shir-Nee! Your Shir-Shir-Nee loves you! Please be happy with your Shir-Shir-Nee!" The busty bluette frantically flailed her pale arms around, trying to escape from the ravenette before passing out from the lack of air. "Shir-Shir-Nee! Let Sokka go! Sokka doesn't want to die from Shiro's 'Double D's of Doom'!"

Another feminine squeal caught the bluette's attention from the stage Hidan was at, distracting Shiro long enough for Sokka to break free & teleport away with a jutsu before her sister could glomp her again. Appearing at the end of the dimly lit stage, Sokka's sapphire orbs rested on the barely cladded Hidan molesting the silver pole in the middle, before snapping out of the trance, and looking for the source of the squeal. A smirk danced on her full lips when she caught sight of a familiar customer, teleporting next to her as she again squealed when the silver haired dancer winked at her.

"Hey, heys Mistress-Chan~"

Mistress of Yaoi quickly turned towards Sokka, suddenly glomping & huggling the bluette to the floor. "OhmiJashin, Sokka-Chan, I fucking love chu so much! Hidan is so fucking sexy! I just can't get enough! If he ain't careful, I might just molest him backstage!" Mistress of Yaoi must have yelled that too loud as Hidan slightly faltered in his dancing, his violent orbs bulging towards the two before catching himself.

"If ya like Bishie-Chan's show, then Sokka is sure yer gonna enjoy Grimm-Kitty's also~" Sokka giggled at Mistress of Yaoi's blank expression, tilting her head curiously. "Grimm-Kitty…?"

"His name is Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez. He's tall, blue, & friggin sexy!"

Whistle calls & cheering rang in the now dark room as Hidan slipped back behind the black curtain, a new song echoing from the speakers as the next dancer slipped through the curtain. Sokka bounced in her seat while silently clapping, causing Mistress of Yaoi to arch her eyebrow.

"Here comes Grimm-Kitty~"

The familiar song spilling from the speakers caught Shiro's attention, making her run across the club towards where her sister was, jumping into the bouncing bluette's lap. "Shir-Shir didn't know her adopted bro was a dancer too! Shir-Shir wants to watch!"

Sokka suddenly stopped bouncing as she looked at Shiro. "Hes only your brother, Sokka is secretly his wife~" Stars sparkled in her eyes as again she stared at the Sexta, drool slipping down her chin.

Mistress of Yaoi started to drool as well when Grimmjow's shirt vanished from his body, revealing his chiseled torso, the hollow hole in his lower abdomen winking out at them. "Grimm-Kitty is Sokka's porn star~"

"Tch! Brat, your too young for him."

Hidan suddenly found himself being molested as he sat down, Mistress of Yaoi flunging herself in the Jashinist's lap, her hands running all over his body as he sat there frozen.

"Dat ass!" Sokka called as the light bluette's belt buckle came undone, along with the button and zipper of his jeans.

"Dis ass!" Mistress of Yaoi giggled while running her fingers through Hidan's slicked back hair, causing it to loosen & fall into his face.

"Her ass!" Shiro screamed before quickly squeezing Sokka's bresticals & running back to her side of the club her adopted sister had specifically designed for her & whoever the ravenette decided to share it with, as Halibel, Nel, Orihime, & Hichigo shimmed onto the stage.

"GRAPE!" The Uchiha called to her sister.

"Shut da fuck up! I'm dancin' here!" Grimmjow growled from the pole.

"Shut da fudge up & dance dammit!"

Whistle calls again sang from the crowd at the sight of a second performer slinking onto the stage, Sokka suddenly bouncing in her seat again.

"OhmehAizen! What the fuckin hell?! Who da fuck is touchin on meh body?!" Grimmjow suddenly jumped at the feel of two slender, tanned arms snaking around his waist, the stranger's slender body pressing hard against his naked back.

"OhmehJashin~!"

Sokka & Mistress of Yaoi started to fangirl scream in Hidan's ear as Grimmjow smirked in realization of the male behind him, turning around to face the teen while grabbing his hips.

**To maybe be continued if ya'll are nice enough and review! I need reviews…it fuels people like me! And it's the only way ya'll will know who the new person is!**

**enjoy my crackness of insanity~~~**

**Miu Uchiha-Valkiar: *Runs around ripping Akatsuki Cloak off* I'M NAKED! FEEL MEH BRESTICALS OF DOOM!**

**Sokka Uchiha: *facepalm* my child…the stripping flasher…**

**Kazuya Valkiar: takes after her mother**

**Sokka Uchiha: *eyetwitch* BITCH DIE! *Kills Kazuya with fucking taco of love***

**Akisama Uchiha-Valkiar: *sighs* divorced parents are so cranky…**

**Kirin Striker: *Chuckles* your mother has her good days…just not now since it's so late… *takes Sokka to bed* c'mon Beloved…bed time for you Ms. Potty mouth.**

**Sokka Uchiha: RE-FUCKING-REVIEW! **

**Meanings:**

**Bishie-Pretty boy**

**Sama-Formal/higher up**

**Nee-Big sister**

**Sexta-six**

**Chan-Cute for girls/close female friend**


End file.
